April 01, 2004

Liquid Stools and Peeing on Two Fingers

I was doing idioms with one of my classes the other day, and we were focussing on idioms that used the word “head” like “off the top of my head” or “I can’t make heads or tails of this. The amusement didn’t begin, though, until we reached the idiom “I could do it standing on my head.” One my many students named Alex told me in Russian they say “it’s as easy as peeing on two fingers.” The beauty of this saying is that it almost sums up the problem of drunken urination. I suggested that peeing on two fingers was actually more difficult, and peeing on your whole hand might be the proper idiom.

The class was four guys, and, both encouraged by my student Alex and loving everything scatological I asked them if they wanted to learn a disgusting idiom with the word “head.” The said they did. Bypassing all the common vulgar idioms with the word head, I decided to teach them “turtle-heading,” which they thought extremely amusing.

After the laughter subsided, my students then asked me if I knew the word стул or stool (which is chair in Russian). I said that I did. They responded, “no, no, no the second meaning--like liquid stool.” I burst out laughing when I realized that for some mysterious etymological reason that I would definitely like to get to the bottom of, the Russian words stool shares both the same definitions as the English word. I told my students and they were glad to learn a new word that was so easy—unlike diarrhea, which they though too difficult..

The subject, however, wouldn’t die. For some reason, which I can no longer remember, one woman in a mainly-women group I teach in a recruitment agency asked me if I knew what a “пупок ” (poopok) was. I misheard her and asked: “Did you say poop?” Like all good intercultural exchanges we eventually worked out our confusion. I found out that poopok was a belly-button and my students found out that poop came out of your butt. My women students also thought this was funny, though they blushed quite severely, and told me that the subject was absolutely taboo in Russia, so much so that parents won’t even ask their toddler if they need to do number 2.
Posted by Aaron at April 1, 2004 11:37 AM

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